Showers over Windermere from Holbeck Lane near Troutbeck.

My Kind of Club

February 3, 2023

The updated Member’s Rule Book from my club Quo Vadis, the Grande Dame of Dean Street, Soho, London:

  • The Martini Gong will sound promptly at 6pm on Wednesdays for Happy Hour.  This is not a fire drill.
  • Rudeness is for the bedroom.  No moaning.  No pestering.  No excuses.
  • Even the best behave badly sometimes.  Boilers aside, most things can be fixed with an apology.
  • Whilst children are wonderful, boasting about their achievements can ruin a pleasant evening.
  • No discussions of share prices, house prices, home furnishings and other mundane frippery.
  • No seduction of the management.  They are immune.
  • The red loo is exceptionally good for photographic self portraits.  Please remember that it is not the primary function of the space.
  • No fake gangsters.  No pistols, flintlocks, muskets, rapiers, cannons, lances, maces, swords, daggers, whips or clubs.
  • The piano is there to be played – well.
  • If you feel a spontaneous compulsion to dance on the banquettes, good for you.  Please take a moment to remove your heels and hobnails first.
  • This building is very old and the doorways unsuited to permitting inflated or fragile egos.

Yep – my kind of club.


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