Sunday: Acute tendonitis of right Achilles completes first month of six-month rehab.  Working reasonably well, ice, Voltaren anti-inflammatory, plus compression bandage getting the job done.

Monday: Two hours in Zebra Dental Surgery in Grasmere replacing 30-year-old front teeth bridge with a temporary bridge – three front teeth removed.  Blood and thunder.  Kris Kristofferson and Bose headphones get me through.

Monday evening:  First attempt to eat with new bridge.  It fails totally – no front four teeth.  The Werewolf look.  Grandkids thought I’d be cleaning up with the tooth fairy – 4!!

Tuesday mid-day:  Replacement bridge fitted.  Double the cement of yesterday’s.  All good.

Tuesday 2pm:  Take grandchildren to kids farm.  Left leg starts burning – can’t figure out why.

Tuesday 6pm:  Get home, take trousers off and look at leg.  What a horror.  Twice the size of the right leg, mottled in violent purple, crimson from ankle to two inches below knee.  Send photos to Dr Marcus Stone in New Zealand.

Marcus orders me to the A&E clinic.  Nearest one is in Lancaster, one hour away.  Wait there for five hours.  Doctor diagnoses a serious infection which appears to be spreading (especially during the five hours).

Moved into a ward, put on an intravenous antibiotic drip – kept in there all day with four intravenous sessions.  Infection halted in its tracks.  No more expansion.

Wednesday 7.30am – 3pm:  Three doctors on the case with slightly differing theories, until senior consultant decides in favour of infection and cellulitis.  A scan reveals no DVT threat.  Lancaster Royal Infirmary (where I was born) are obviously delighted to have their prodigal son return and suggest I stay another 24 hours to enjoy their intravenous drip and famous NHS cuisine.

I explain my grandkids are waiting for me and I have to leave immediately – now that the penicillin has won Phase I.  I procure seven days oral antibiotics with a commitment to return for an Assessment/Bloods on Friday.

(The fundamental problem with hospitals is they are full of sick people.)

Bad things come in threes.  Looking forward now to some sunshine.

Thursday:  Swelling reducing.  Front teeth still in.  TGIT.

KR